So it's been a couple of weeks...

... and I have fallen off the wagon.

Truth be told, I fell off the wagon in Week 2, but was trying to kid myself that I was doing ok.

The thing is, a friend of mine made a comment to me around this time that I don't believe was intentionally negative, but it got stuck in my head all the same.  Round and round it went, and I basically gave up.

I have been beating myself up mentally for the last couple of weeks, and there has been a block of chocolate... one in 5 weeks. While that is good, it doesn't mean I haven't been eating other chocolate... and that is not so good... in fact, I have eaten quite a lot of chocolate in the last couple of weeks.

I have just been eating what I want, and not following the Curves Complete plan at all. I kept coming up with excuses about it all, but the truth is, I lost faith in myself.

I am still trying to find it.

It is so hard to try and get it all right, I do need a plan, I do need routine and right now I have neither.  I have been trying to get together an idea of what I want to do for my meal plan, and so far it's really half-arsed. I need to commit to it and get it sorted... but I have no motivation.

I had my weigh in this morning at Curves and spent half an hour talking to my coach (today it was the owner), and she got my head straight. But now that I am home, my head is twisted again.  I think my job for this afternoon/tonight is to get my meals planned and watch the videos on the website. Oh and just so you all know, my weight went up... now the heaviest I have been.... 111.2kg! Not cool.

I don't remember how to be patient with all of this... I know I said initally that I don't want to look back, but I do... I miss who I used to be. I miss enjoying healthy eating and I miss enjoying exercise. Right now they both seem so boring and too hard.

Week 1 Wrap Up

I can't believe it's Sunday already! My first week is done!

Already I feel better in so many ways! My head feels clearer and I am feeling better within myself; happier and less anxious. I don't know if it's because I have been eating better and exercising or simply because I am just doing something about it all.

Food-wise I have been pretty spot on. I have been tempted by "yummier" foods, but I managed to stay strong. I don't want to get into a routine of denial with foods, but I would like to at least be able to work my self control a little more first.

Curves wanted 4 workouts, but I have made a decision to skip my Saturday workouts for the time being and I'm ok with that. I did really well in my workouts and pushed myself so that was really good.

Tomorrow I have my first weigh in with Curves... I have to admit I had a sneaky weigh in yesterday, and if that remains similar then I will be very happy!

What I do need to work on is getting my water intake in and making my lunches when I am working, so that I don't always buy my lunch and I don't skip my lunch and get to have it pretty much on time.

I got a tip off the forum the other day for meal planning (which seems really obvious now), where I have the same snacks each day and meals or meals that use similar ingredients so that I don't have too much wastage. Dinners are fine as there are 3 people eating those, but for lunches, breakfasts and snacks this would work really well. I have to make a few more tweaks to my plan for next week, but we will see how that goes!

Overall, this week has been a big WIN!!

Halfway through the first week

It's been a few days since I have updated, mostly because I didn't want to come on here and repeat myself or tell you all about the food I have been eating.

So, I am now halfway through my first week, and I have been doing really well!! I am really happy with how I have gone.  The first 2 days were hard with wanting chocolate, but now I am doing much better. Yes, I still kinda want it, but not to the same extent.  I am hoping in another week or so I will get to the point where I can take it or leave it.

Eating-wise I have stuck to my plan with the exception of coffee... I know I should count it, but right now I just don't want to restrict myself too much. As long as I am not going overboard, at the moment I am happy to keep those in. Might not necessarily be the "right" attitude, but I'm thinking less pressure and less stress. I thought I would really struggle with eating less, but it hasn't really been an issue. I seem to want to eat more at night (which is normal for me), so have been keeping a snack aside for that.  The only big issue I need to work around is figuring out lunches on days where I am working. I don't want to keep buying lunches, so I need to get into a routine of making my lunch the night before or something.  It's the problem with working the lunch cover.

I have been to the gym twice this week; Monday and today. I will go again tomorrow and I am supposed to go on Saturday as well... I am not sure how that will go though. When I signed up for Curves Complete I found out that they would like 4 workouts, not 3 as I had planned and expected. Now I am not quite sure where to fit in the extra workout. But I am hoping that over the next couple of weeks I will be able to figure the 4th workout into a regular spot, even if I have to wait until Nessa is back at school.

I am also supposed to be making sure I get my steps up each day. Overall I need to aim for 10,000 steps, but initially they recommend aiming for 5000 steps a day. I have had a Fitbit Flex since August last year and I have worn it everyday since then (even have a tanline going on from it!). This is what I am using to track my steps.  So far I am averaging around the 6000 mark, so not too bad really. I know that I need to do a little more to get to the 10000, but at the moment I am just keeping it simple, especially as it is only my first week! My plan with this is actually to keep everything exactly as it is until Nessa goes back to school, as we will be walking to school then, and I should be able to easily hit my goals then.

Tonight I also started looking at next weeks meal plan.  The food is increasing, as has the options, so I am just getting started again. I am trying to find things that will suit everyone in the family, that might only need to be tweaked slightly (for example, I am the only one who likes green beans, so I would make those just for me and I hate broccoli and cauliflower but B and Nessa like those.) I have already had a couple of meals that I really enjoy, so will be making those again and I have found a love of peanut butter on toast!! I actually never really liked it before, but right now it is just amazing!!

Get Ready!

I got my meal plan all done for the coming week, adjusted for when I will have Nessa and for the nights I will be on my own.  I love that I have options for recipes, frozen meals, takeaway and then 'exchanges' where I can make my own stuff up.

Turns out the first week is more of a calorie reduction, to 1200 calories. Usually I don't go for anything like this, especially after the 12WBT fiasco, however it's only for one week and at this stage I am happy to give it a go. I am pretty much on my own next week, so I am hoping that will help ease my way into it all.

I am really looking forward to it all, especially now that my fears about the food have been put to rest. I am so relieved that I have been able to pic everything that I like to eat and it's not restrictive.

Now I just need to do some grocery shopping...